Have you ever had that strange feeling that even though you've moved on from a bad day or a tough time, the feeling of it keeps popping up? Maybe you keep getting into the same types of arguments with friends & loved ones, or you keep feeling super nervous before a meeting or presentation, even if you practiced a hundred times. It's like your past is following you like a shadow, waiting to replay itself.
You might think, "Am I cursed? Why does this keep happening?" The good news is, you are absolutely not cursed. The real reason is actually a little bit like a secret superpower that went wrong: a part of you got disconnected and stuck in the past.
Imagine a very painful, scary, or overwhelming event happens—like a huge wave crashing over you. It's too much for your mind and body to handle all at once. To protect you, your brain does something amazing: a piece of your inner self—the one who felt that big pain—gets completely disconnected and freezes in time, right where the scary thing happened.
- This is known as trauma and dissociation.
- What it really means: It's a powerful defense mechanism, like a secret safety switch. You, the person here in the present, don't have to deal with all that pain right now.But here’s the tricky part: while the rest of you moved forward, that disconnected part of you is still stuck back there, living in that moment.
The core problem is that you are not running from the past itself; you are running from a disconnected version of you who is still stuck in that past.
Think of it like this: Imagine you have a main control panel for your feelings. When a bad event happens, a tiny version of you gets left behind at the accident site. The current-day you keeps running away from the accident site, but the little one is screaming for help back there. Because that stuck part is still a part of you, it keeps sending out signals (like those feelings of fear or the habit of making the same mistakes) until you go back and pick it up.
And here’s the other truth: You can’t outrun yourself. That stuck part will follow you everywhere.
Since that inner part is stuck in the past, it doesn't know that it's safe now. So, when something in your present life looks or feels even a little bit like the old, scary event, that stuck part sends a PANIC signal to your current self.
- Example 1: You might start to feel really upset over a small comment from a friend, but that big feeling isn't about the small comment. It's the stuck past-self reacting because the comment reminded it of when someone was mean a long time ago.
- Example 2: You might keep trying to please everyone around you and never say what you really want, because the stuck past-self remembers a time when speaking up caused trouble.
That's the loop: The stuck past-self thinks you are in danger, so it makes you act or feel in a way that keeps the old problem going, just like replaying a scene in a movie over and over again.
As a Doctor of Ayurveda specializing in trauma, Jeannine Rashidi, AD, explains that trauma is any event that is more than the mind and body can handle, which causes your mind to separate or disconnect a part of itself. This is your body trying to be a superhero, but it leaves a teammate behind.
So, how do you stop running from yourself and break the loop? You need to do two big things: Radical Acceptance and Fully Reunite.
1. Radical Acceptance
This means you stop fighting what happened. You stop saying things like, "That wasn't fair," or "I wish that hadn't been my life." You accept that you can't change the past. Instead, you look at that stuck part of you with kindness and say this simple, honest truth: "This has simply been my life experience." It’s a way of saying, "Okay, that happened, and I accept that it’s part of my whole story, but it doesn't have to control me anymore."
2. Fully Reunite
Once you stop trying to flee or ignore that stuck part of you, you can finally go back and bring it home. You show it that it’s safe now and that you, the adult or older you, can protect it. You bring that disconnected feeling, that scared memory, back into your whole self. It’s only when you reunite with that stuck part that you can finally help it move beyond the old experience and move forward with your complete, strong self.
When you bring all the pieces of yourself back together, the panic signals stop, the fear fades, and you can finally break free from the loop and focus on the happy, new life you are living right now.
Ready to stop running and finally welcome that brave, stuck part of you home? My online self-paced course, Abundance Beyond Trauma: The Joyful Unfolding Journey, is designed to be your map and guide you through this important process of reunion.
